Discussing change and the differentiated leader
Our first topic of discussion this week was to see what it meant to be a differentiated leader. Dr. Jonathan Camp (2010) explained in the video "Friedman's Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple" that a differentiated leader is akin to a biological cell that has a specific purpose and boundaries. It can be a part of bigger groups but keeps its own identity.
In order to be a differentiated leader, we need to be able to focus on our chosen task. It sounds a little like choosing our WIG for 4DX. Be focused on that so that the anxieties and problems of others won't pull you astray. It is so easy to get entangled by the viruses of negativity in so many aspects of school these days. In order for our innovations to succeed, we will need to focus on what needs to be done and keep the viruses (aka whirlwind) away. We need to become self-differentiated leaders who remain non-anxious and can handle those around us who are negative towards there being a change. This means that we need to stay calm, hold on to our beliefs and push on past the sabotage if we want our changes to happen.
In order for us to get our innovation plans rolling, we are going to need to have crucial conversations first with our leadership. In my situation, I will have to talk to my principal and assistant principal. Then, we will discuss our plans with those that might be interested in beginning the innovation process with us. These will be crucial conversations because there will be emotions involved, different opinions on what should be done, and anything that changes how a classroom is ran in a core subject is high stakes due to testing. We will need to have.a strategy like those in the book so that we can properly get our point across while also taking in the conversation from the other side to build a mutual purpose and plan to action.
When taking part in a crucial conversation, there are different points that you need to consider.
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Start with the Heart
When talking to someone, you need to start by making sure that you are speaking from your heart. Focus on what you really want for yourself, others, and the relationship you have with the person you're speaking to. If you have the right motives at heart, it will help you stay focused. Beware of the Fool's Choice where you think you are limited to two choices. Search for the elusive "and" which gives you more choices to go from.
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Learn to Look
When in a conversation, we need to be aware of what is going on on all sides. Learn to start looking for physical, emotional, or behavioral changes in those involved. Pay attention the content of the conversation to determine if it is safe to talk. Are those involved falling into silence or violence? Learn what your own style under stress is so that you can avoid falling into it yourself.
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Make It Safe
Sometimes in order to be safe in a conversation, you have to take a step back. Mutual purpose and respect must be reestablished in order to make the conversation safe. Once you come back into the conversation, apologize if needed. If a misunderstanding has happened, use contrasting statements to build back respect.
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Master Your Stories
Emotions don't just happen. You see or hear something happen, and then your brain creates a story to go along with it. This creates feelings that you act upon. When the stories get out of control, you need to retrace your path. Notice your behavior, see what emotions are activated, analyze your stories, and get back to the facts. Don't let yourself become the victim, villain, or just a helpless bystander. Tell the rest of the story by determining your role in the matter.
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STATE My Path
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Share Your Facts - Say what you know to be the truth. Facts are least controversial and more persuasive.
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Tell Your Story - Share your story. It's your conclusion to the facts you shared and explains how it all ties together.
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Ask for Others' Paths - Once you've shared your path, let others have a chance to do the same. Be open to learning more about the views of those in the conversation and encourage them to share.
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Talk Tentatively - Further tell your story in a way that it's a story instead of hard facts. You are humbly sharing your opinion on the matter. Don't be too forceful which could keep others from participating.
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Encourage Testing - Let the others in the conversation know that they are safe to speak up and share their observations even if they differ from yours.
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Explore Other Paths
Be ready to listen to others and encourage them to retrace their own paths if needed. Use the methods of Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase, and Prime to show you're listening. If you disagree, follow the ABCs: agree where your views meet, build on those places you share views, and compare where your views differ.
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Move to Action
Realize that just talking is not making the decisions. You have got to decide how decisions will be made in the conversation. This all depends on if there is a clear leader or not. You can decide by command, consult, vote, or consensus. No matter how the decision is made, it needs to be documented and put into action. Assign who needs to do what by when. Make a plan then to follow up and make sure the actions were followed.
References:
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Camp, J. (2010, November 10). Friedmans’s theory of differentiated leadership made simple [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/RgdcljNV-Ew
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R. & Switzler, A. (2011, September 9). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. McGraw Hill Education.